Saturday November 3
We Hate Keith Ted
Annie, Caty, Erin, and Mallorie Host
List of Performers:
Caty and Erin
Dave, Fish, Katie, Hope, Adam, Nickels, etc.
Caty and Annie
Gregg Brown and David Nelson
Steve, Mikey, AJ
Mike and Katrina
Approximate Running Time:
Keith was away at a competition of some sort so he burdened us with the job of hosting Ted in his absence. We were really annoyed by his total disregard for what was supposed to be our sleepover night and so we decided to make this Ted about how we all really felt about Keith. WE HATE KEITH. And thus we opened Theater of Ted with enthusiastic applause.
Before I officially begin these notes, I would like to make note that a baby, Persephone, was in attendance that night.
Everybody was a little nervous about going first tonight, so Caty and I went up and performed the Fish License from Monty Python with nervous terrible British accents, but all in all it went over pretty well.
Next up was Dave Ruthenberg and friends with “Some dudes with a cautionary tale.” They did the Soulja Boy dance, meanwhile warning the audience that it was turning into a “full blown Soulja Boy epidemic.” They were really good at the dance and it was definitely funny to hear that the Soulja Boy dance was creating labor shortages and making it basically sound like a health issue and that many were “dancing themselves to death.” So, I guess the moral was get your Soulja Boy dance vaccinations.
Next was RJ, with help from Caty, doing a piece as a sort of critique on Keith’s standup. RJ pretended to be Keith and Caty was supposed to be Matt Richert and RJ performed a standup routine. RJ talked of Keith’s catastrophic joke not being funny and the song “Awesome” where there was no singing, RJ just said “Keith” at the very end. RJ also spoke of Demetri Martin and then proceeded to pull out a giant notepad reminiscent of Mr. Martin’s usual standup. He then showed us pictures and a graph that added up to 200.09% that basically said how Keith wasn’t cool. Points to RJ for his piece going along with the theme!
Then Annie and Caty went up with a very moving and powerful piece, “Keith Sucks.” It was short and sweet and to the point… Keith sucks.
Nick H. then took the stage with “Headphone Action.” A piece similar to his last at Ted using the speaker. It was really interesting, a little loud but really cool. My favorite part was the contrast with all the noise and then going to dead silence. Mallorie described Nick as an “Electronic Wizard.” Annie was a little upset because she could’ve found good use for the headphones Nick was throwing around, but she didn’t mind so much because the piece was so cool. It was kinda scary, kinda loud, and really awesome and somehow the baby slept through the whole thing...
Tuxedo Guy then went up and described how he was “Clean-cut and Overlooked” and then left Ted.
Next up was Katrina with “Under the Influence of Poetry.” She proceeded to read slips of paper with bits of interesting thoughts that came out of a drunk person she had spoken with the night before. Somehow this person gathered that if fish swam in air we would have more time and toilet paper is flushed and never exists, and my favorite, “like tiny boy’s faces you can’t erase with erasers.” Very strange but very funny, points to Katrina for actually writing all that nonsense down and sharing it with us.
Gregg Brown and David Nelson came up and performed some music for us. David Nelson played piano while Gregg did his usual thing on the dulcimer. It was really beautiful. Caty sat right next to the piano and felt as if she was in the music, and she hated Keith the entire time. The ending was really awesome and Gregg seemed really pleased with it, it all just came together so beautifully. And Gregg handed out some business cards so we can all get his music on CD! WOO! Go to www.uberkewl.com!
Then Steve, Mikey, and AJ came up and they um… pretended to be drunk and then proceeded to leave.
Then Katrina improvised a dance while her pal Mike did a monologue of Full Moon, a show going on at Illinois Weslyean. It was very artistic and from what I know about Ted, it was very Ted. Katrina’s improv was really cool and really helped the entire piece keep the attention of the audience as opposed to just the monologue. Very cool and very good! I believe the message of it was to not be homophobic, so don’t be.
Mitch signed up at the last minute to do some more Monty Python with “One Good Monty Python Sketch Deserves Another.” Annie introduced it and proceeded to do a Silly Walk back to the host table! Mitch said what I’m assuming were some of his favorite lines from Python sketches and he and Caty tried to do the Argument Clinic Sketch, but Mitch was playing Michael Palin’s part which forced Caty to try and remember John Cleese’s part but she didn’t know John’s part so it didn’t go so well, but a valiant effort, and hey, who doesn’t love a little more Monty Python?
Finally, RJ, Annie, Caty, Mallorie, and I closed the show with a phone call to Keith where the audience revealed their true feelings to him by shouting “We hate you Keith.” Unfortunately he couldn’t really hear us but I think the message got across.
Caty and Erin with The Fish License
Dave, Fish, Katie, Hope, Adam, and Nickels with Some Dudes With a Cautionary Tale
RJ with Keith and Matt Richert
Annie and Caty with Keith Sucks
Nick H. with Headphone Action
Tuxedo Guy with Clean-cut and Overlooked
Katrina with Under the Influence of Poetry
Gregg Brown and David Nelson with Music
Mikey, Steve, and AJ with Drunk
Mike and Katrina with Full Moon
Mitch with One Good Monty Python Sketch Deserves Another
Piece of the Week:
Katrina and Mike with Full Moon
Dare to Suck Award:
Mikey, Steve, and AJ with Drunk
Super Secret Hidden Theme:
People leaving Ted and Monty Python