Theatre of


Saturday October 27th

Halloween Ted

The Horse Apples Picture Show


List of performers:

  1. Tux Guy
  2. Evan Wesselman and Rocky Horror Cast
  3. Dave Ruthenberg
  4. Ryan and Ron
  5. Paul
  6. D7
  7. CJ and shee
  8. Jared
  9. Keith
  10. RJ

Underlines denote first time performers.

Approximate running time:

1 hour 20 minutes roughly


Number of Pieces:






Host Notes:

Know this, any misspellings or lack of capilowlisations are things I donÕt care about. Also bad grammer.

 (to be read in a very dumb southern accent)

       A Goo Goo goo goo goo goo!! YEEE HAWW!! This Ted sure was as pretty as a cow in heat! We started out with the whole cast of horse apples doing a show alongside themselves in Rocky Horror fashion. There was good jokesers and lots of funny thangs that happened! Oh yeah! And Texas! After we finished our a-fine a-show, we all hollered Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic YEEEE HAWWWW!

            The first act of the tonight was Tuxedo Guy with something about his birthday. All I wrote was D7 Cameo and I donÕt remember too likely why. Prolly cause I was distracted by his fancy getup. He musta spent nearly 2 million dollars on that piece of sexy clothes.

            The second piece was Evan Wesselman and the rocky horror picture show cast doin a song and dance from the show! It was fun as a gay in a tornado. And thatÕs fun! OH NO!

            Dave Ruthenberg came up next and talked about how he needed help killin up some pumpkins. He has a youtube where his picklejar character does segments and he needs to make and kill some sort of pumpkin people. I tried makin a pumpkin person once, but I just ended up goin to the hospital. Cause my junk was stuck in it. A goo goo goo goo goo!!!!!!

            D7, Ryan and Ron came up next to do a lecture on gravity. My fav-o-rite part of that piece was when they said that gravity was the most fun and effective contraceptive. It was also revealed that gravity is Mother NatureÕs prankster. Huh huh! I always thought that mother natureÕs prankster was jimmy jim. Jimmy works down at the barn house, but heÕs got a Chinese wife.

            Paul came up next and bored the hell out of us.

            Ron came up after RonÕs complete lack of pity on the audience and tried to be D7! It was awesome. I loved it so much. He tried to do everything D7 does. He almost killed himself with the unicycle, but it was great. I almost killed myself with a unicycle once, I had to go to the hospital to get it out. Awwww Horse apples!

            CJ and Shee came next and legitimately creeped the fuck out of me with their piece. They each sang lyrics to a different song while telling the story of ex lovers or creepy lovers or something. Anyway, Shee got stabbed and there was blood everywhere. Just like my sister after my family was done! A rickityrickityrickity!

            Jared came up next, but I absolutely have no idea what he said. I was too confused and alarmed at the previous piece.

            D7 then terrified me by riding a giraffe unicycle (5-7 foot tall unicycle) and jumped rope on it. It was ridiculous. He did it in long underwear. I never thought I would have to say Òwatch out for the ceiling.Ó It was cocktastic.

            I, Keith, then got up to announce that I would not be at the next Ted because I would be doing improv in Chicago with the Mafia. I would also be attending Ted Chicago. Dayum or something.

            RJ then did an awesome bit of magic. He managed to kill pikachu in a mass of blood in a plastic bag, then revealed that pikachu was fine! It was so cool. Blood was everywhere. Yup.

            Tux guy then came back and said something else. Something like Ted being a dream or something. It was really strange.

            After that, I managed to unsettle the audience further with more horse apples humor. I apologize if I offended anyone, there was really no excuse for this Ted.

Theatre of Ted, enthusiastic YEEEE HAWW!!!!


Performance pieces: - so, somewhere between this Ted and me finishing the notes, I lost the paper with the actual performance titles. These are titles as I remember the pieces.

1.  Tux Guy – something very short

2. Evan Wesselman and Rocky Horror Cast – dancing and singing

  1. Dave Ruthenberg – help me murder
  2. Ryan and Ron and D7 – a funny lecture thing

5. Paul – time to pull out your hair

  1. Ron – pretending to be D7
  2. CJ and shee – scaring the fuck out of everyone
  3. Jared – something I missed.
  4. D7 – bigger and better
  5. Keith – quick self glorification
  6. RJ – murder.
  7. Tux guy – dream thing




Piece of the week:

 D7 with Bigger and Better


Dare to Suck Award:

Ron – Pretending to be D7


Jaw Dropper:

 D7, justÉ D7


Super secret Hidden Theme*:

 Blood at Halloween Ted.

*Hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED of that week.