Theatre of


Saturday, April 7th 2007

“Our Ted”



List of performers:

Marc Muszynski

Mike Norris

Pete Guither

Matt “Tinz” Herzau

Nicole Dust

Ron “The Tuxedo Guy” Sweeney


Approximate Running Time:

1 hour and 35 minutes


Number of Pieces:







Host Notes:

         Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve had the privilege of hosting Ted and it was AMAZING to come back. We didn’t have a whole lot of people since it was Easter/Passover weekend, but we still had an amazing Ted. I opened the show with a parody of the opening monologue from Our Town. I adapted it to reference things in Ted and it was fun. Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause!


            The first act of the evening was Nicole Dust performing a song. Nicole has come to Ted a few times before, but this is her first performance that I can remember. She said it was a sad song but never gave a title, it was printed paper with chords and stuff in case she forgot the words or music. So I will now give you my interpretation of what I saw: the song was about losing a bunch of stuff in a relationship, it hurts to lose things, change happens though, but they should try to hold on to something, maybe they should stay together. I think I’d be more likely stay with the person if they made a song that was funnier or included a neato dance.

The second piece was our very own Pete Guither. He was going to do a piece originally relating to the origin of Easter and the bunny and all that fun stuff, but, as they often do, South Park did an episode about it last Wednesday. So Pete gave an extemporaneous speech about his thoughts on Easter, its meaning, and Jesus. He shared with the audience that he is a “PK” (preacher’s kid) and so he has a little experience with this sort of thing. He mentioned that he found out that the higher Rabbis have declared marijuana is not ok during Passover. He also spoke about how the New Testament never mentioned bunnies and laying eggs and hiding them and finding them and the silliness of all that. He also shared a really nice thought: Christ hung out with 12 guys, drank a bunch of wine, he liked women, he hung out with all types of people; he probably would’ve liked Ted. Nice idea.

After that, my former co-host, Marc Muszynski, took the stage and shared that he had a sad song to play since he was going to try and get his girlfriend to forgive him for past transgressions. He was very nervous about playing the song in front of everyone, but after some coaxing he launched into his song. Marc had once again pulled the wool over our eyes and actually played an acoustic cover of the Jackson Five’s “I Want You Back”. He then forgot some of the lyrics and walked off the stage embarrassingly. Funny stuff.

Then in true Our Town spirit, I talked about the facts about Our Ted. I talked about our Ted’s views on drinking, drugs, and politics. I then brought our resident Ted historian, Pete Guither, to answer any questions the audience might have about our Ted. Questions Pete answered were what the most infuriating piece at Ted was (easily the shit in the bucket incident) and what the most annoying piece ever was. Great stories.

Next up was Tinz plugging the Decemberists playing “Mariner’s Revenge”. He also brought lyrics on the stage and had measurable difficulty with the lyrics, about 2 and half feet of difficulty.

After that, Marc came back to make up for his previous piece with a new band that he had just formed: Dark Chocolate Gesus (yes, with a “G”). It was him, Tinz, and Nicole (all of the guitarists for the evening!) They all improvised a song in A sharp diminished. It was great. It totally sounded like something you’d hear at Starbucks or Panera. Good times.

Mike Norris then took the stage with a story about Easter, 2 years ago where he went to a zombie party in Harvey wearing his Easter best. He was totally unprepared for the culture shock of the environment in Harvey. This made for hilariously awkward situations. Some included an 8 year-old boy in a cage, 6 gay black men in zombie makeup, getting kicked out of The Ring 2, and being told to duck from possible drive bys.

The final piece of the night was Ron “The Tuxedo Guy” Sweeney with Real Life Persona Part 1. He then brought 2 gallons of water on stage, a hat, and his chair. He then slowly started to undress. He removed his jacket, his tie, his vest, his shoes, his socks, his watch, his shirt, and finally his pants. He was in his undies and a Disney tshirt. He then quickly described himself and shared with us who he really is and then poured 2 gallons of water on his head. I definitely wasn’t expecting that.

What a great Ted. This was my last opportunity to host a Ted. It was great time and thanks to CJ for letting me host one last time. Ted has been very good to me and I hope that I did enough to be good to it.


Theatre of Ted – Enthusiastic Applause!



Performance pieces:

Nicole Dust with “A Song”

Pete Guither with “Easter Thoughts”

Marc Muszynski with “A Sad Song”

Matt “Tinz” Herzau with “Tinz Shamelessly Plugs the Decemberists”

Dark Chocolate Gesus with “Improvised Gold”

Mike “Commodore” Norris with “An Easter Story”

Ron “The Tuxedo Guy” Sweeney with “Ron Sweeney: Real Life Persona Part 1”






Piece(s) of the week:

Pete Guither with “Easter Thoughts”

Dare to Suck Award:

Dark Chocolate Gesus with “Improvised Gold”

Jaw dropper:

Ron dropping 2 gallons of water on his head. WTF?!


Not-So-Super Secret Theme: People forgetting the lyrics to their song or words to their speech.


*hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED of that week.