Theatre of


Saturday, February 10, 2007

ÒOlÕ Theatre of TedÓ

Keith Habersberger host 


List of performers:

  1. Mitch
  2. Mike Norris
  3. Keith Habersberger
  4. Craig
  5. Chris Bogue
  6. CJ Tuor
  7. a lot of people who didnÕt sign up but made Ted really awesome

Approximate running time:

1 hour ish 

Number of Pieces:




Host Notes:

It started out like any other day. I was sitting around my house just bein bored when my pa told me to go outside. Little did I know I would find the cutest little thing I had ever seen. It took a lot of pleadin, but I finally got my ol dad to let me keep him, at least until the owner came back. Until then, I had to give it a name. So I named it THEATRE OF TED! ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE!

Unfortunately, two minutes before all that happened, nobody had signed up for acts, so with a desperate plea from me, we gathered ourselves up some pretty fun pieces.

First was Mitch with iPOD shuffle where he listened to a song and sang it to the best of his ability. The whole Ted audience shrieked with joy and clapped along and Mitch made his way through the entire song that I have never heard before. At the end, there was such an orgasmic response, Mitch had no choice but to mack it with 14 ladies. You should have been there to see it!

Next up was Mike Norris with Party quirks. Mike invited anyone at ted to come up and have a quirk in this classic improv game. Mike was the host and had to guess many goofy and silly character quirks including The company of Trim Spa and a man who is self conscious about his wings who also sells Affy Tapples. It was fun! At the end, there was such an orgasmic response, that many large chested women through their braÕs at commodore. Unfortunately, Pete was busy and missed taking any pictures of this moment. But it was awesome! If only you had been there!

After that came KeithÕs festival of fun. I basically got up and had a desperate plea for people to have a tumbling competition. After I got my two volunteers I just couldnÕt have been more surprised at what would happen next. The male said the word ÒvagÓ about 30 times and then literally flew around Allen, the girl was quiet but then danced beautifully, did the splits, and did one tumble. Because she tumbled, she won. Then some people surprised me with ear talents so I showed some of my own. It was really awesome! At the end, there was such an orgasmic response, God himself showered the audience with gold. You should have been there, it was divine!

Next was CraigÕs random corner with lots of people for no reason. It sure was fun. And guess what, every joke was a hit and something really unbelievable happened that couldnÕt be recorded other than in these notes. How about that?

About then a man claiming to be C.J. Tuor tried to take my Theatre of Ted back. He used to be the owner but he had abused Ted. We decided to let Theatre of Ted decide. He came to me, and CJ admitted defeat. Theatre of Ted would be mine forever!

Then came Chris who explained the Wink game. I donÕt need to explain it here, that would be confusing, and I donÕt want anyone to be Lost. WINK!

Last was CJ with a very inspiring speech about how one awesome moment can make up for a ton of bad ones. It was one of CJÕs greatest moments. If you missed it, I actually feel bad for you. then, after that, there was such an orgasmic response that text permanently became size 16. AWESOME!

At the end of the night, I learned my Theatre of Ted was sick and I had to put him down. As he mumbled like Lenny from Of Mice and Men (WINK!) I shot him saying THEATRE OF TED! ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE.


Performance pieces:

Mitch with iPOD shuffle

Mike Norris with a guessing game

Keith Habersberger with KeithÕs festival of fun

Craig and many others with CraigÕs random corner

Chris with the wink game

CJ with Elm something Country Club




Piece of the week:

 CJ with Elm something Country Club

Dare to Suck Award:

Everyone at this ted since nobody came prepared to perform.

Jaw Dropper:

All the orgasmic responses to pieces and the ridiculous nakedness. 

Super secret Hidden Theme*:

Nobody sat on the mats. Not one person sat on the mats that Mike, Chris, Bill, and I laid out. Jerks.

*Hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED of that week.