Saturday, January 20 2007
“State of the TED”
C.J. Tuor host
List of performers:
Approximate running time:
1 hour 30 minutes
Number of Pieces:
The evening started with your host elect, yours truly, giving the state of the TED address. His wonderful oratory skills and persuasive argument were matched only by his sharp suit and stunning grey hair (just like our real commander in chief). The address talked about how wonderful Ted has been this past year but the hosting has been pretty lackluster. It ended with a promise for brighter tomorrow filled with new promises, funnier sketches, naked-er women, and….hey look…host notes. THEATRE OF TED, ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE!
The first act of the night was Jared Mason with impressions. Now Jared Mason is not just any ordinary hack comedian who does your run of mill impressions. Jared likes to do things a little different. He astounded the audience with his interpretation of a Tennis match, the wise and cunning Master Splinter (from ninja turtles for those of you who have lives), and one of those weird alien stick you got as a kid when relatives didn’t know what to give you for your birthday. Well done Jared at times I could swear you were that one guy from police academy.
Next was Mike Norris with “How I spent my winter vacation.” Sadly his break had nothing to do with good Christian values and everything to do with stealing his weight in fine silk ties. I would reprimand him but he gave me a pretty red one.
Keith and Chris were up next. They
did a skit. It involved the words “argument”, “website”, “Font”, and “Only 5.”
That’s all I was able to hear from my sheltered box. If you want the full story
I suggest you go to Ted and bring holy water to wash your ears…and eyes out
Tinz came up and rocked the stage…and thankfully blew my mind so hard that I forgot the last skit. He gave an electric guitar ballad that didn’t need words to totally bring the house down. He did need about 4 minutes of prep time…but no words. Nice job Tinz listening to you is the closest I’m going to come to cool.
The Fifth act of the night was Pete Tenuto with Dexy’s Midnight Runners’ #1 (and only) hit “Come on Eileen. Pete played this song for last semester but this week he made some improvements and it really showed. The only thing preventing the audience from getting up out of their seats and singing along is nobody in the world actually knows the words to that song….not even Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
Next was Lisa “Cloud” Ridarelli with her first solo piece at TED…YEAH! (I’m quoting Lisa there). Lisa gave us two touching pieces of verse that were sweet, beautiful, funny, and overall very charmingly nostalgic. Lisa’s childlike innocence was a welcome refrain from other acts that I swear I wasn’t listening to.
Next up was that popular folk group “The Brothers McCormick” and by popular I mean just created an hour before this performance. The boys warmed up with a very pleasant rendition of “She’ll be coming around the mountain” and then moved on to another series of traditional country tunes. Although, I couldn’t help but feel I’ve heard these folk songs in another medium but that’s probably just me.
Up next was my best friend in the whole entire world…Craig with an act he has been working on for years. Craig graced us with some Impromptu poetry. Craig did one dramatic poem and one comedic one. The dramatic one was about a grandmother and grandson and…or…wait was that the comedic one. The dramatic one was about a plastic bag in a tree…or…you know what…Good job Craig.
Mike Norris came back and gave us a bit of dramatic reading. He read a section from a book of short stories called “Steps” which he heartily recommends. The story he read involved doing drugs, sexual acts of deviance, and peasants so I’m plenty of our audience went out to buy the book.
Speaking of Ted regulars, up next was the world famous Tuxedo Guy with an/a announcement/short story. As most of you know Ron has recently been on TV for his formal exploits. He than captivated us with a tale from Darwinawards.com about how having marijuana will get you in lot’s and lot’s of trouble so he is by far my favorite act of the night.
Next up was Anthony Fiorelli with two poems. One poem was called “Angels Falling” and the other was called “Falling Angels” The poems were far too deep for me although I could tell that I should have really appreciated it. I was overly impressed and then impressed overly.
Finally Kayla Krippner came up with a rebuttal to a previous sketch that I’m pretty sure didn’t exist. I can honestly say I didn’t hear a word of this piece. Honestly not a word. I’m not even kidding.
So ends the first TED of the semester. If every TED is this great than I will have no excuse to not do host notes….unless I break both my hands. THEATRE OF TED, ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE!
Jared Mason w/ “Impression”
Mike Norris w/ “How I Spent my Christmas Vacation”
Keith & Chris w/ “Bitter Banter”
Matt “Tinz” Herzav w/ “From the ground up, a story of climbing”
Pete Tenuto w/ “Come on Eileen”
Lisa “Cloud” Ridarelli w/ “a po-em”
The Brothers McCormick w/ “A Folk Show”
Craig w/ “Impromptu poetry”
Mike “Commodore” Norris w/ “Steps”
Tuxedo guy w/ “A Short Story”
Anthony Fiorelli w/ “Poetry!”
Kayla Krippner w/ “A Rebutal”
Piece of the week:
The Brothers McCormkick w/“A Folk Show”
Lisa “Cloud” Ridarelli w/ “A Folk Show”
Dare to Suck Award:
Craig Sadur with “Impromptu Poetry”
Matt “Tinz” Herzau with “Keith versus the Twinkies, inclined planes, and Pangaea”
Keith and Chris w/ “Bitter Banter” (and yes I note the irony of putting this act in “Jaw Dropper”)
Super secret Hidden Theme*:
Lot’s of poetry…yep that’s it POETRY…nothing else became prevalent in this week’s TED. NOTHING!
*Hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED of that week.