Saturday, October 15th 2005
"The Pants Come Off"
List of performers:
Some Crazy Old Man
Italics denotes a new performer at Ted
Approximate Running Time:
Number of Pieces:
Those of you that attended last year's Thanksgiving edition of TED were, no
doubt, unsurprised to see that I, The Chad, was asked to come back and guest
host Theatre of TED. I began by bringing attention to the fact that a
Pants-less TED had been talked about for too long, and I proudly dropped trou
and asked for everyone else to join me in the depantsification of TED.
As the discarded pants lay strewn about Allen Theatre, I gave those immortal
opening words: Theatre of TED, Enthusiastic Applause.
The first piece of the night was "Duel," by Nick Mikula and Mark Muszynski.
Taking inspiration from a TED piece they saw during their freshman year, these
regulars put together an light-saber duel using all of the skills they had
acquired through their movement and stage combat training here at ISU. The
most harrowing moment was definitely when Nick threatened to kill Tuxedo Man.
My heart races just thinking about it. Neither Nick, nor Mark removed their pants.
Up next was first-time performer Carolyn LaBahn with some stand-up comedy. In
a heart-wrenching moment, she revealed to us her fear of "old people" and just
exactly where that fear came from: old people are creepy. She also spoke a little on dorm life. I laughed quite a bit. Carolyn did not remove her pants.
Immediately following Carolyn was Pete with "The Return of Chaos." He handed out some pieces of paper and instructed everyone to read their paper and be prepared to perform the action on it whenever the host (me) said, "Chaos." Surprisingly enough, Pete did not remove his pants.
After that was Eric Reuffer with "One of Many Musical Pieces." Eric started with a cover of "Behind Blue Eyes." Diana Christopher then joined him for a cover of, "Tears from Heaven." Eric and Diana had already removed their pants.
Annie (insert last name here) proceeded them by giving a public apology from Keith for not being able to attend and perform at TED, and then plugged Keith's upcoming performance at the B&B. Annie did not remove her pants.
Lisa Cipriani and Nick (insert name here) gracefully found their way to the stage next with a dance piece called "Fear." It is a rare thing to see a serious dance/movement piece, but always a treat to see one that is done well. As it turns out, Lisa and Nick are high school students from Elk Grove High School. Possibly due to the legal ramifications, neither Lisa nor Nick removed their pants.
Emerging into the performance space after Lisa and Nick was John Delashment. He began by explaining that he is doing a report on Theatre of TED, and that he is looking for as much input from TED-goers as he can get. He went on to recite some original poetry, including an touching story about being an eight-year-old boy with Superman Pajamas. John had removed his pants earlier, but while sitting on the radiator/air conditioner/heater thingy by the windows, he determined that a lack of pants was not beneficial to him.
Chaos!!!!!! (during chaos, many people removed their pants)
Manny Calderon then stood up to deliver some more stand-up. This was Manny's second time. Apparently, he had so much fun the first time, that he couldn't help but come back and do it again. He began by asking all of TED to help him out by sending a message to two of his friends (Jake and Ted) who totally flaked out on him. Manny's friend held up a tape recorder, and we all cried out with much gusto, "Fuck you Jake and Ted!" Manny then went on to discuss his missed attempts at a career in a boy-band and the NBA. Tough break kid. Maybe next time. Manny did not remove his pants.
Erica Schmueck arose to the audience's view to get TED to sing Happy Birthday to Becky Blomgren. Erica was not wearing pants, but she did have a coat around her waist, which made me feel cheated. Becky did not remove her pants.
Returning to dazzle us once again was Nick from Elk Grove High School to regale us with a piece called "Boogie Man." Apparently, this did not make it into Elk Grove's Fall Dance Concert, but was more than accepted at TED. A very intriguing piece indeed. Once again, Nick is in High School and did not remove his clothing.
A crazy old man wandered into TED, and at this point in the evening, he got in front of the crowd and delivered a rousing rant about how much nicer things used to be. As it turns out, we youngsters have it way too easy. The crazy old man did not remove his pants. Thank God!
In a triumphant return, Wingus took the stage with the much anticipated, "Wingus: Season Two, Episode: A New Approach." They began with a cover of "What I Got." They then went on to a song that they believed would help to simplify the dating scene for all of us, and gave the happy announcement that for the first time since the conception of Wingus, all three of them are single. Their song revolved around the greatest pick up line ever created: "Nice Shoes; Wanna Fuck?" All three members of Wingus removed their pants. Thank God!
The final piece of the evening was Perna (Insert Last Name Here) and Mitch Ost with a special cover of the theme song from one of the original Nick-Toons, "Doug." It was truly marvelous, and took me back to the joyful bliss of my youth. Mitch and Perna both removed their pants.
The next final piece of the evening was John, returning with some pick up lines inspired by Wingus. John did not remove his pants.
Piece(s) of the week:
Nick Contine with "Boogie Man"
Dare to Suck Award:
Nick Contine with "Boogie Man"
Seeing that many sober people drop trou in the middle of a crowded room.
What with Superman Pajamas, singing along to "Doug," playing airplane, and finding out how easy they have it, this week's hidden them was little kids. It is interesting that the unhidden theme involved a removal of pants.
*hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED
of that week.