Theatre of


Saturday, October 8th 2005

“Marc and Brian’s Neighborhood”



List of performers:


Nick Mikula

Mike Miserendino

Steve Brackett

Nick Cardiff

Mikey Laird

Craig Sadur

Patrick Byrnes

Jessie Gangware

Adam Tucker

Matt Herzau

Jesse Woolman

Keith Habersberger

Manny Calderon

Erin Dixson

Mike Muloney


Approximate Running Time:

2 hours and 15minutes


Number of Pieces:




115 people 


Host Notes:

            Hello neighbors! Marc and I welcomed all of our neighbors to Theatre of Ted by starting out with a nice song. We then talked about words that started with the letter “L” I used words like “Little, loquacious, and Love” but Marc ended up making the mistake of not using L in just a word, he used it in a phrase: “L-cut my heart out when she left me for that ass!” So we decided to move on to a new topic for the day but we were interrupted by a knock at the door! Who could it be? Was it Larry the loan shark? No, it was our good friend, Mr. McFeely, the sex offender! Mr. McFeely came to show us all how to find the clitoris. He demonstrated using a photo and the upper half of a female mannequin on me! How informing! After we learned that lesson we decided to invite our other neighbors on stage to see what they had to show us tonight! Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause!


            Our first neighbors to stop by were called Bainbridge. They had quite a perplexing piece that I’m not so sure ever truly materialized into a full piece due to an extreme amount of set-up. They had an archer whose face was covered with an orange mask. They also had a man eating a chicken with a microphone in front of him. There was another hooded person who would make a sound with a vase. At about the 30 minute mark, the archer fired an arrow into a bearskin-like target. He hit it perfectly and successfully had about everyone in the room a little weirded out. After about 45 minutes we asked them to wrap it up. Hopefully in the future they will keep trying to push the limits with their pieces, but in a shorter amount of timeJ.

Our second neighbor to stop by was our good friend Keith, he came with his website of the week. This week it was! According to the site, they are a “love group”. They have a picture on the site called “Satan’s Rainbow”, but for some reason, it’s only two colors; black and white. Hmmm, I wonder why…

After that, our neighbors Nick, Mike, Steve, and Nick came over and performed a piece that summarized the amazing weekend of theatre that we had in our neighborhood. Their performance encapsulated Tim Miller’s US, the mainstage production of All My Sons, and the second stage production of Anna in the Tropics. This piece was done in like 3 minutes and was able to capture so many of the great moments from these shows and was one of the best parodies I’ve ever seen at Ted. Congratulations friends.

Our neighbor, Mikey Laird, did his second sober Ted performance ever! He performed a short, sweet poem that was actually pretty decent. Hopefully we can see more from Mikey in the future.

Then one of our favorite neighbors ever stopped by, CRAIG! Craig performed some really cool poetry. It’s awesome to watch Craig grow as a performer and I can’t wait to see what type of performances Craig will do each week. What a stud.

We had two neighbors visit the Ted stage for the 1st time ever tonight, Patricck and Jessie. They did poetry by David Roby, who couldn’t be there. I was actually able to write the whole poem down and even though I don’t know exactly how to type the rhythm of the poetry, but I’ll give it a try:


you all”

-David Roby

After David’s fun poem, we were visited by Matt Herzau and Adam Tuker with ROCK BONANZA!!! They played “I’l Be That Girl” by Barenaked Ladies and then launched into a rocking version of Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” complete with an amazing harmonica solo by Matt “Fuckin’ Tinz” Herzau.

Eric Rueffer was next with a few announcements about having some get-togethers for all of our neighbor friends at his place.

Then our friend Keith stopped by again with some stand up comedy! He talked about watching the Hewett girls from 2-3am on weekends and seeing some of the most entertaining things going on like girls taking guys home, girls passing out and/or vomiting, girls breaking up with their boyfriends, and girls coming out in their pajamas to get pizza. What fun! He then talked about how he hates so many TV shows and he had some suggestions for shows like The O.C. (Get some actors) and Dora the Explorer (shouldn’t you be avoiding the stereotype of lazy Mexicans?). Interesting.

In the middle of Keith’s piece Darryle Wolpa entered the room and made a lot of noise. And then towards the end of his piece, her cell phone rang. Oh Darryle, you’re so disrespectful.

Our neighbor Jesse Woolman stopped by to talk to us about a website that defined Goths to parents to get them to stop their children from becoming evil. Jessi then read the list of their qualifications for a Goth person. If your child has 5 or more of these qualities, then they need to be put in a mental institution or have an intervention as soon as possible. As she read the list, everyone in the room had qualified as a “Goth” about 2-5 times over! Looks like we’re going to the mental institution! I’ll bring the Oreos. Anyone want to bring any milk or juice?

We had another new neighbor come to visit us, his name is Manny Calderon and he wanted to make us laugh with his standup comedy. Manny is one of the most awkward people I have ever seen in my life and I love it! I can’t wait to see him keep performing and polishing his act more and more! He talked about one time when he saw these beautiful girls on the quad and right as they approached him, he threw up. Oh Manny, you’re so awkward, but that’s why we love you.

We had a good old friend stop by to tell us a story about how her cousin. It was Erin Dixson! She said her father always wanted her to be like her cousin until he found out that her cousin is a lesbian. Her cousin “married” her partner and they decided to hyphenate their names, but their names create a very humorous hyphenated name: Dixson-Bawls. On top of that, they decided to have a daughter and the daughter’s middle name is Anita, so the kids can make fun of her and call her Anita Dixson-Bawls. That girl will be quite a woman when she grows up…

The final person to stop by was a new person named Mike Mulroney, but I have no idea what he said or did, but I’m sure it was wonderful and so wonderful that I was transfixed and forgot to write it down.


Performance pieces:

Bainbridge with “?”

Keith Habersberger with “Website of the Week”

Nick Mikula, Mike Miserendino, Steve Brackett, & Nick Cardiff with “Art”

Mikey Laird with “Second Sober Ted Performance ever

Craig Sadur with “Something that resembles a poem”

Patrick Byrnes and Jessie Gangware with “Robetry”

Adam Tucker and Matt Herzau with “Rock Bonanza!”

Keith Habersberger with “Standup”

Rueff with an Announcement

Jesse Woolman with “So Goth”

Manny Calderon with “Standup”

Erin Dixson with a story

Mike Muloney with the greatest piece never recorded






Piece(s) of the week:

Nick Mikula, Mike Miserendino, Steve Brackett, & Nick Cardiff with “Art”


Dare to Suck Award:

Bainbridge with 45 minutes of setup

Manny Calderon with his first stab at standup

Jaw dropper:

The Archer dude firing an arrow into the bearskin target


Super Secret Theme: Daryle Wolpa making noise.


*hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED of that week.