Theatre of


Saturday, October 30th 2004

“Halloween Ted”



List of performers:

Becca Kap

Steve Nelson




Chris Smith


The Chad

Pete Guither


Brian Wohl

Mike Callahan

CJ Tuor

Bridgette Richards





Approximate Running Time:

1 hour and 15 minutes


Number of Pieces:







Host Notes:

            The opening this week was interesting. Enrico explained the story behind Halloween. Halloween is based on a Celtic holiday. It is based on the Celtic view of time. They saw time as cyclical and that one-year was an entire circle. On the last day of the year, the circle of time had to reset. Thus, one day out of the year, Halloween, was outside the circle of time. Therefore, the walls between this world and the other world were at their thinnest and ghosts walked the earth. Rico then introduced a ghost he met. In walked the forgotten disciple, Stan the Drunkard. (At this moment, I, Mike, nearly died. A ladder fell and almost split my skull. Luckily I moved and caught part of it, while Allen caught the rest. Needless to say, it completely screwed up my opening.) Stan explained that he had a lesson to teach everybody. He walked around the room telling people that they were holy. Then he came back and fell asleep. Rico said, “Theatre of Ted,” and then acted like Stan was a puppet and faked Stan saying, “Enthusiastic Applause.”

            The first act of the evening was Chris with The Morning Star. This is a repeat piece, but one I don’t mind seeing repeated. It is an interesting monologue that wants to challenge people to believe that freedom is the way of the devil. It also seems to claim that America is “One country, under the Morningstar.” It was perfect for a Halloween Ted. Nice start Chris.

The second piece was Gandolf with Hide and Seek. Gandolf, or Pete Guither, came up and proclaimed that on Election Day we would say, “You shall not pass George Bush.” Pete then continued to explain a recent development in his life. The message board has a lot of information on the subject, but I’ll give you the short version. Pete put a recommendation on his “Drug War Rant” website of the candidate Tari Renner. The opponent, Weller, claimed that this was an endorsement from a crazy pro drug group that thought babies should be given Heroine. So he told us to vote for Renner cause she wasn’t a liar. Finally, Pete explained that a group of Ted regulars were hidden in the room. The entire audience got up to search for them.

After that, came Mario with Stand up. Mario, or CJ, talked about life as the head of the Super Mario Brothers. He’s done a few mushrooms, and pipes take him places. It was a silly piece, where he made jokes as a different character. I enjoyed it immensely.

Coming up was Steve and Bob with Meth Song. I always like the songs that Steve and Bob play. They are the type of songs that get stuck in your head and almost never get out. Bob is a great guitarist and Steve acts as much as he sings. I could really see him tweaking out as he sang the song. “Meth song is the best song, you get a lightbulb, then you tweak.” Nice addition to the evening. I’m still singing it now.

Next up was Megan with a Desperate Plea. She came up to ask us to purchase these stickers she has. The stickers were for a Pro-choice organization and they had interesting Anti-Bush comments on all of them. Probably a good place to try and sell them.

After that, Becca came up with her newest poem, called Hindsight. Becca has become our love/sex poem writer at Ted. This weeks installment talked about a person whom she wished she could stop making the same mistakes with, but could not seem to stop getting with. Another great poem.

Another poem came when Justin performed Morning’s Regret. This poem was written in the style of Dr. Suess. It discussed the 100 dwarfs in Justin’s head that werer all banging on shit the morning after a night of heavy drinking. The poem was well written, funny, and truthful. I tried to catch one of the dwarfs once, but I could only pull a midget out of my ear. Oh well, good work Justin.

CJ was up next with Stand up. In this week’s material, CJ covered horror movies. CJ pointed out that today the parents would be blamed if a child were possessed. The doctors would just proscribe Ritalin. In addition to horror movies, CJ talked about the horrors of another four years of Bush. He explained that Bush wanted to combine his education plan and his plan to send people to Mars. This becomes the Mars No Child Left Behind act. In order to send all students to Mars though, the education budget would be destroyed, so that there would be pictures on all the buttons of the space shuttle. Good work.

Chris and Ryan with Demon’s Corner is the next piece. Ryan looked badass in his costume. Chris looked just like Chris. Since it was Halloween they performed a show with two demons. The show included a segment titled “Things we are blamed for, but are all your fault.” This was a hilarious concept. They also had a write in letter from a wonderful man who had a serious question. Overall, the piece was fun and well themed.

The third to last piece was A Public Service Announcement. Brian Wohl, I mean Ron Burgundy did a wonderful piece advertising for Savage In Limbo. Mike Callahan helped out by holding up cue cards. Ron was as drunken and uncaring as ever.

The second to last piece of the night was from The Chad. The piece is truly hard to explain on the website. Chad read part of a short story that he’s working on. The reason it is hard to describe on the website is that the piece was a creation of life story. These are never simple, and need every word used. It was interesting to hear the version that Chad was writing. Good work.

The last piece of the evening was Bridgette, Chad, Lewis, and Becca with Tunak Tunak…A Tradition. They explained that back when they had all first gotten to school here, Tunak Tunak was a song that was played at most parties and everybody knew the dance to it. It was time for people to learn it again. The room started dancing around to the song. When the song finished, all that could be said was, “Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause!”


Performance pieces:

Chris with The Morning Star

Gandolf with Hide and Seek

Mario with Stand up

Steve and Bob with Meth Song

Megan with a Desperate Plea

Becca with Hindsight

Justin with Morning’s Regret

CJ with Stand up

Chris and Ryan with Demon’s Corner

A Public Service Announcement

The Chad

Bridgette, Chad, Lewis, and Becca with Tunak Tunak…A Tradition






Piece(s) of the week:

The Chad


Dare to Suck Award:

Mario with Stand up


Jaw dropper:

Seeing everybody dance to Tunak again.


Super Secret Theme: HALLOWEEN