Theatre of


Saturday September 25th 2004

“The love and compassion / CJ sucks night”



List of performers:

Chris Smith

Julie Janus

Lisa Adams


CJ Tuor (if you can call it a performance)

Jessica Saxvik


Nick Mikula

Brian Wohl



Mark Muszynski

Becca Kaplan

Dan Radcliff

The Chad

Leslie Sheppard

Rico Natale

Mike Schmueck

Bridgette Richards (if I spelled it wrong hon, too bad)

Ryan Kent

Bridgette (the freshman)


Italics denotes a new performer at Ted


Approximate Running Time:

1 hour and 30 minutes


Number of Pieces:




105 people when we started…but I saw at least another 15 arrive slightly late. 3 weeks in a row of 100+ attendance. Hurray! Last year we had about 3 or 4 Ted’s with 100+ attendance. This year we may surpass that mark.

Host Notes:

            This week, Ted started out with group bonding. The hosts had the entire audience give each other one huge group hug, and then the audience all opened the show, saying “Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause!”

Erica was up first with an announcement. She got a bunch of her friends onstage, including Ross and Lisa. She then explained that it was their birthdays on Sunday. We sang Happy Birthday and it was sweet. We also repeated the song to Tristan, a friend of Amelia and Samone.

Next up, the Bridgettes told us about a party at the Chad’s place. That’s all.

Leslie Sheppard started Part 2 of her Crowns rap. She lost the flow at certain points, but she had spent all day in her technical rehearsal for the show, so the confusion is understandable. It was entertaining as always.

Yale came up with a song to sing. He plunked down with his computer and sang a song he wrote with Erica Schmueck. It was called “The Element Song.” He sang it beautifully, and the words seemed to flow with the Tao. I love hearing people sing their own work. Somebody else loved it enough to ask Yale to “Bare my children.”

After that was The Chad with Another Way to Get a Girlfriend. The Chad was kind enough to show us his musical throat., by flicking his neck and throat with his fingers. The hallow sounds of the flicking created a song. An interesting experience.

Mark came up next with Half a Poem. The poem is a long poem that influenced Mark to work with poetry. It was written by Reggie Gibson. The poem was about a street performer. It started with singing. It talked about why this street performer is playing on the street. It talked about the street musician’s love of a person named Rosita. The poem was amazing and Mark can really sing. I can’t wait to see the other half of the poem.

CJ Tuor came up with Stand Up. Another set from our resident joke machine. He definitely brought some great material this week. Talking about how crappy MTV is will always get him an A in my book. However, the piece de resistance was a conversation with his girlfriend, where CJ made a dreaded guy mistake. He asked her if she was gaining weight. Oops. Great comedy CJ.…Wait a minute that was last week. Sorry.

After that, Becca performed some poems. Becca performed 2 different poems that she had written. One poem was a sensual poem about 2 “ships” coming together at on the sea of love. It was sexual, it was heart felt, and it talked about a mistake of a sexual escapade. A perfect poem for Ted. The second poem was called The Price of Oil. It not only talked about the rising price for gasoline monetarily, but also the rising price in human life as a result of oil. A politically charged poem, I loved it.

One of our hosts, Enrico, performed a monologue from the play Burn This. He played the part of Pale, and was talking with a woman about how her “I’m sorry” comments meant less than nothing. It is an intense monologue. Nice job, even if it was Rico (just playin brother).

The next piece was called Conviction. Leslie Sheppard returned to the stage and talked about some realizations she made this summer. She asked our help to make sure that she treats all men like her brother until God tells her to pursue romance again. A beautiful sentiment. I hope we can help.

Master Pipe Theatre Rides Again is our next piece. This was the return of Dan Radcliff with a character that hasn’t been seen much at Ted lately, Alaster Bates. He brought up Jessica and Adrianne and gave them an Anti-Pop Quiz. The subject…marijuana. The game was a lot like Jeopardy, only with drugs. The final question asked the contestants what the best pot they ever smoked was. Jessica kissed ass and claimed that it was some that she had with Dan. Adrianne claimed that she couldn’t remember. Both were valid answers and the game ended up a tie. I believe a lot of people learned more about the marijuana culture through this game. An interesting experience.

CJ and Julie with Host Notes. Some piece they did that starts with them fighting about the awards. Therapy of Ted at its most obvious. Just because CJ can’t understand the sexual relationship I have with Julie, doesn’t mean he should complain. He will never get an award now.

…Okay so I’ve given CJ crap this week in host notes, mostly to see if it can inspire a sketch nearly as good as this host notes piece. Everything, from the commentary on Ted, to the interpersonal relationship jokes, to Julie flashing the audience…the entire sketch was awesome. Too bad they really won’t get an award. Hahahahahahahaha!

Nick, Brian, and Mark wandered in with Something Spectacular. All I have to say, is WTF. Nick pulling on his pants while seeming to masturbate was an interesting site to see. I don’t know how to describe this piece.

Mike Schmueck (aka me) came up next with a Thank You. I meant every word of the thank you. Ted has been a saving grace during a semester of insanity. Keep up the great work everybody and continue to inspire me.

After I went, Chris and Nick performed a piece called Art. They told a joke about a peanut getting assaulted. It was brilliant.

Chris decided to stay up on stage and perform a piece he’s been working on called The Outline. The piece referred to what you see in the mirror and how you view yourself as a person. I’m glad that he can see himself somewhat filling in the outline. It was a great piece.

Pigtails, Wizards, and Batteries. That’s the name of the piece that Ryan performed this week. He talked about the power of wizards and the problems with remote controls. His comment on rolling the batteries in order to get more life out of them was dead on. An interesting new performer.

To Tristan on his 20th Birthday was the last piece of the evening. Amelia and Samone came up to read Tristan part of his birthday gift. They read part of an erotic story from a porn magazine. It was a sweet gesture.

“Theatre of TED, enthusiastic applause!”


Performance pieces:

Erica with an announcement

Bridgettes with a quick announcement

Leslie Sheppard with Part 2

Yale with a song

The Chad with Another Way to Get a Girlfriend

Mark with Half a Poem

CJ with Standup

Becca with some poems

Rico with Burn This


Master Pipe Theatre Rides Again

CJ with Host Notes

Nick, Brian, and Mark with Something Spectacular

Mike with a Thank You

Chris and Nick with Art

Chris with The Outline

Pigtails, Wizards, and Batteries

To Tristan on his 20th Birthday





Piece(s) of the week:

Mark with half a poem

Becca with Price of Oil

Dare to Suck Award:

Chris with the Outline

Amelia and Samone with To Tristan on his 20th B-day

Jaw dropper:

I can’t think of any nudity, so I don’t think there was a jaw dropper (Julie and CJ)


Super Secret Theme: There are two. One was compassion. The other has been screwing with CJ and Julie. (Maybe you two will get out of the dog house next week. Wink wink)