Saturday September 18th 2004
“TED Version 2.0”
List of performers:
Italics denotes a new performer at Ted
Approximate Running Time:
1 hour and 45 minutes
Number of Pieces:
105 people, another great attendance
Tonight, Mike and Rico began Ted with a game. The game was a type of sex quiz, with two people from the audience (Lisa Adams and Ryan Kent) answering questions about the opposite sex. Rico portrayed the man and woman in question as they talked, and Mike stopped the action to ask the contestants questions. The audience really got involved and everybody learned that women are crazy and men are stupid (even though Ryan won the contest). Nice lesson everybody.
With the opening done, Julie Janus came up with How to Get a Boyfriend (a rebuttal). This piece was in response to Justin’s piece the week prior. The piece consisted of Julie standing in front of the crowd and shoving her entire hand into her mouth. How sexually intriguing. We all congratulated C.J. and told him he had some big shoes to fill, or should I say a big mouth to fill.
Leslie Sheppard performed next with another piece that was a Shameless Plug. She rapped to the audience about the play Crowns and reminded us about its run here at ISU. I can still sing the chorus, “I’m a shameless thug, with a shameless plug.” Good work, and I can’t wait to see Leslie on the Mainstage here.
Next is Craig Sadar with Something. It was about colds, and the TV show MASH. Not as random as usual, but still random enough for Mike’s Random Corner. Stop cheese clock, nope slope cope, eating monkeys with the Pope. Steel socks slump, pink pumps pounce, rabid aardvarks by the ounce.
After that insanity, CJ Tuor came up with Stand Up. Another set from our resident joke machine. He definitely brought some great material this week. Talking about how crappy MTV is will always get him an A in my book. However, the piece de resistance was a conversation with his girlfriend, where CJ made a dreaded guy mistake. He asked her if she was gaining weight. Oops. Great comedy CJ.
Yale and Dan sang a song next. They sang Yoshibe. Everybody, who knew the words, sang along. It was beautiful. If I knew the song better, I could write a better host note, but I don’t know the song all that well. Still, it was fun and it sounded great.
After the song, Lewis came up with some of his poetry. He read a poem that was called “Why Am I in Hell?” Another poem about the loss of a great love. I know how that can feel and the words obviously meant a lot to Lewis. It was a brave reading.
Zach entered the Ted arena with his own Stand up routine. I’m thinking about locking Zach and CJ in a closet until one survives to be the ultimate Ted comedian, but I figure there’s enough room for 10 Ted comics. Zach again amused use with the antics of his family, including informing us that his dad says his mom is the cause of the death of the Jews. Interesting family environment, at least you are comfortable with yourself and your self-described “panda like physique.”
Ryan and Chris joined us tonight with Romantic Advise. They tried to teach the freshmen how to pick up women through the use of different pick up lines. My favorite was “Can I grab your boobs?” Obviously, these men know what they’re talking about.
Chad came up to change the subject and talk about a theory of his concerning women and men (a new topic for the evening). He explained that women must be evil and men must be dumb. He used Hooters as an example. I’d tell you more, but as soon as he started talking about Hooters, I thought about the waitresses. Then, a women came up and I gave her my money. I forget why.
Ryan returned with a piece he called a Roll of Duct Tape and a Cigarette. This was the story of one of Ryan’s dreams. I was standing in as Ross during the entire scene. I couldn’t tell you what actually happened in the dream, but it involved Ross needing a cigarette and it was deeply symbolic. Beautiful.
Next up came Joe Flowers with Readers Theatre. Joe performed a piece by David Sedaris called “Big Boy.” This very same piece, about the phantom turd that clogged the toilet at a party, has been performed at Ted before. Something about a person fighting with the social implications of a giant crap seems to remind people of Ted. It was a heartfelt reading. Plus, it seemed like he had stomach pain throughout, and I am a fan of method acting. Good job.
David Rowbe graced us with some of his poetry. He performed four different poems and each one was amazing. I don’t think my half assed description does the poetry justice. I’ll ask him to send a copy of the poems to our website, but if you see him ask him about his Hollywood Dream poem. It rocked.
Pete was next with a Quick Announcement. Actually the quick announcement became 5 minutes of announcements, but how often is Pete short-winded? He pointed out that Sunday the 19th was National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Hurray, I mean Arrrrggg. He also reminded all the people at Ted to register to vote. Voting is the most influential thing an American can do. If we young adults want changes we have to get involved in politics. So, remind everybody you see to register to vote and to find a candidate in each race (presidential, senatorial, and local) that you can agree with on at least one issue. We don’t care how you vote, though the majority of the Ted audience seems to be against Bush, as long as you vote and know what your opinions are. Vote please.
Just Chris was back with more music. This time he started to sing about necrophilia, before grossing himself out. He also sang a song about how much Brian Wohl sucks and a song about 4 square. He is extremely funny and spontaneous. He works the crowd well and is a welcome repeat performer at Ted.
Last up was Alina with Summertime. First, Alina told a crazy story about the coffee table at her home having been made out of a coffin. Then, her Grandpa was buried in the coffin table. After the sad story, she asked if anybody needed therapy. Craig went up on stage and was told, “Lay your head upon my sternum, cause I don’t have breasts.” The lights went out, lighters flicked on, and Alina sang an old, beautiful Aria.
The lights came back on and Ted ended with “Theatre of TED, enthusiastic applause!”
Julie Janus with How to Get a Boyfriend (a rebuttal)
Leslie Sheppard with a Shameless Plug
Craig Sadar with Something
CJ Tuor with Stand Up
Yale and Dan with a Song
Lewis with Poetry
Zach with Stand Up
Ryan and Chris with Romantic Advise
Chad with a Theory
Ryan with a Roll of Duct Tape and a Cigarette
Joe Flowers with Readers Theatre
David Rowbe with Poetry
Pete with a Quick Announcement
Alina with Summertime
Piece(s) of the week:
David Rowbe with Poetry
Dare to Suck Award:
Julie with How to Get a Boyfriend (I wish she would dare to suck…hehehe.)
Ryan (all night long taking major chances and trying new things)
Zach and his mom’s killing of the Jews
Alina singing so beautifully, I felt calmer.
Super Secret Theme: It’s no secret this week, the theme was SEX.