Theatre of


Saturday March 27th 2004




List of Performers


Leslie Shepard

Chris Smith

Mike Schmueck

C.J. Tour


Erin Guimon

The Chad

Brian Wohl

John Crowley



Italics reserved for first time performers

Bold denotes returning alums


Approximate Running Time:

A grand ol hour and change


Number of Performance pieces:






Russell’s Rant:

I don’t remember too much from this show, except that the lights were off for most of it…people who were there know what im talking about. It was fun to host TED again after a three week hiatus. It’s also fun to know that these host notes will be posted before Rico’s and Dan’s from over a month ago.




Host Notes:


Matt Russell started out the evening with a bit of stand up about his crappy set up and execution of the “Mardi Gras” TED. Matt admitted that he had been too busy to properly set up and care for the TED that night, so he kind of did a shitty job in the execution of it. In fact, Matt said that he did such a bad job from hooking things up that he couldn’t really even call it “half-assed” cause that was better than what he did so he insisted that this be called the “quarter-assed-marti-gras-TED”. To which people started stripping and making out and showin’ the boobs…it was great you should have been there. Matt also announced that he would be doing something in-between sketches…what was it? You had to be there. But to make a long story short during the last 4 pieces Matt was hosting in his boxer-briefs and tuxedo shirt.


We are the second years…the mighty mighty second years.

If anyone remembers the “Tagged Clan” sketch from last year…see host notes September 28th 2002…

It seems that all that is left of the “Tagged Clan” was Leslie Shepard and John Crowley…they don’t kid around when they say that half of your class will be GONE in one year….


Matt and Chris squared off next. Matt said that Chris left his flask over at his apartment a week ago, and since it had been a week wanted to know if it now constituted as Matt’s property, and if so should he auction it off at the mock prom auction. Matt let the audience decide based on cheering and applause. Sorry Chris the flask is mine to auction off.


Mike Schmeuck did a take off of Matt’s infamous “challenge the audience time” where Mike told the audience that this was the time of year where performance pieces are scarce and original stuff is hard to find so he was challenging them to do new stuff or something.


C.J. with stand up was next…C.j. was good but I think he mentioned something about using up all of his A game at his stand up special last weekend. My notes say: “C.J. funny ha-ha antique wheel.

Gleen from that what you will.


Okay the Grid Plan is next and reading my uncensored notes, I see this by it:

A reprise fan a noelessperson maybe.


Sorry Grid Plan, that’s all I gots fo yas. But to be fair it had already been 5 breaks between skits…


Now the exciting conclusion to Theatre of TED elimidate. C.J. and Dandrell got one last chance to woo the fair Leslie. Notes say: Decision btwen dundrell + c, j. walk off together.

What great host notes.


Next up was another shameless announcement this time brought about by first timer Erin guimon. Notes say: womens pro choice…I think there was some sort of bus trip if my memory serves…


Dandrell did some stand up next. Host notes say: Mic with no where to plug it, rouldolph on crack, most rasist = handicapped


The Chad did a moving tribute to Brenna and did a song to her that wasn’t played at her funeral for religious reasons.


A love letter from Brian: what do ya say notes? :

“letter to a girl she found ter at the Mardi gras”


Why you should never get stunk with Chris was next…Chris signed up later after I invented a new word, “stunk” this applies to being stoned and drunk at the same time.


            The Matt Russell Dictionary of Words invented at TED on the 27th:

            Stunk(n.)~ when someone has become inebriated as a result of the combination of alcohol and marijuana. (s) “Hey man I was so stunk last weekend that I made out with your brother and sister at the same time.”

            Eated(v.)~(coined by dandrell) the past tense of eat. (s) “I eated them mashed potatos good like.”

            Beerthday (n.)~(coined by T-Hom) the annual celebration of the completion in a year of the TNA fraternity.


Anyways…Chris decided to demonstrate what it was like to be stoned and drunk at the same time.



Pantsless Enthusiastic Applause



Performance Pieces:

Announcement/second years

Matt n’ Chris square off

The Dulldroms

C.J. with some stand up

The Grid Plan

Theatre of TED elimidate CONCLUSION


Dandrell w/ stand up

A tribute to Brenna

A love letter from Brian

Why you should never get “Stunk”





Performance Piece(s) of the week:


Hahahahah, oh man………….NOTHING!


Dare to Suck award:






During “Why you should never get Stunk” Chris imitating being stoned and drunk at the same time saying “This is what it must be like to be Christopher Reeve”



Super Secret Hidden Theme of the WEEK:


The 301 Table


Every performance had that lovely blue table from 301 behind it, backing them up the whole time…We love you table!!!


*hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED of that week.