Theatre of


Saturday February 7th 2004



List of Performers


Leslie Shepard

Joe Ritacco

Josh Lansing

Julie Janus

Sarah Torbeck

Diana Christopher

Tracy “Trizzo” Murray

Keith Nadal

Chris Weise

Kenny Metroff

Ryan _____

Zach _____


Nick Mikula

Ross Farely

Yale Schrero

Amanda Polley

Mark Mesuniski

Brian Wohl

Pete Guither

C.J. Tuor

Al Daniel

Enrico Natale

Jared Winkler

Mike Schmueck

Erica Schmueck

Steve Nelson (indirectly)



Italics reserved for first time performers

Bold denotes returning alums


Approximate Running Time:

Hoo-Hah! 2 hours and 10 minutes


Number of Performance pieces:




86 (and what a fantastic crowd, YESSSS!)


Russell’s Rant:

First of all, WHAT A GREAT FUCKING SHOW! I’m taking a three week break from hosting, cause hey, I deserve it…besides I gotta see who is gonna take TED places…

But back to what a great show this was, EVERYONE was into it. Even one member of the Congrigation tried to participate in every piece.



Host Notes:


Matt Russell started up the night by saying that tonight a fierce battle would be fought to deturmine the outcome of a certain debate on the TED message boards. It seems that some people think Pirates are better than Ninjas! And it also seems that some people think that Ninjas are better than Pirates! Matt promised that tonight that the answer would be found as he opened the door behind him and a ninja stealthily moved out. Matt bowed to the ninja to show his respect for him. And the ninja bowed back. Matt then claimed that there would be no TED tonight, just a debate on if pirates were better than ninjas. Matt said that anyone who claimed that pirates were better than ninjas were gonna get their ass kicked by my ninja friend here…Just then a swarthy pirate waltzed his way in. The two recognized each other as their enemy and a fierce battle ensued between a priate and ninja with the crowd cheering them on for who they wanted to win…the outcome of the battle was amazing. The Ninja TOTALLY dominated and made the pirate look like a little baby-baby sucking on his thumb. Thanks to Keith and Chris for their awesome fight choreography which we have missed at TED. I got this idea after talking to Chad Wise when he came down, it was a skit he cut, so I gotta give props to him for the idea.


First up was Blog Inspired presented by Leslie Shepard (all things taken from Laura Sharp’s Blog) talking about how annoying V-day is. there were people who got attached and people who wish they got attached. Then she presented the top 5 ways to get rid of a guy and then the top 5 ways to get rid of a girl…number 1 for getting rid of a guy, “tell him softly, ‘I can’t wait to be filled with your babies’” Also discussed was the use of the “z” language and how annoying that is. And finally some A+ pick up lines were presented. Meanwhile Steve Nelson started to friendly heckle, but agreeing very loudly with things said. “YESSS THAT IS CORRECT SIR!”


Dueling Johnsons was next with first time Tedders Joe Ritacco and Josh Lansing (Steve: Great Name, YESSS) They presented the old dueling banjos song that was made famous by some movie…deliverance I think?


A Tragic Lament was next, presented by Julie Janus and her story about her little fishy teeny which she had found at Wal Mart. And how Teeny would do a trick with a rock that was a bit dangerous. And finally died from rock overdose….


Now it’s time for a shameless plug: The VAGINA MONOLOGUES…coming (heh) soon.


Tracy Murray made her TED debut by reading a poem that I believe was self-written. Tracy did a great job for a first timer.


And now C.J. Tuor with some stand up. Once again C.J. brought the house down with his patented delivery of comic wit. He first decided to comment on Erica’s rebuttal from last week. He said he was a bit outraged by it, and an that statement, Chris Weise slid over a sword used from their previous battle. Steve Nelson Throwing in comments of YESSS the whole time. A memorable line was that anyone who might be looking else where instead of C.J. were barking up the wrong tree…and he does mean TREE.


Keith Nadal and Chris Weise then presented the perfect epee battle where the two basically did pacing around each other and switched stances with their swords…when the sword was hit they would both run away from the thought of violence. Then Keith presented “sneaky shit” where Chris took the place of Steve and Steve took the place of Chris and Keith did some sneaky shit to Steve…what was it? You had to have been there.


Sarah Torbek was next with her signature Sing along of TED, this time: The Beatles SHOUT! Fun for everyone.


Kenny Metroff is running for mayor of Normal, Illinois under the TedaCrat category, and appreciates your vote. His platform is LOCAL warming; he proposes that several huge mirrors to be set up in Brazil and pointed directly at Normal Illinois to keep it warm in the winter months.


First Timers Ryan and Zach decided to display their awesome skillz as a freestyle rapper and beatboxer, as well as interpretative dancing to a keyboards demo music. Definitely some fun stuff.


Rico and Jared plugged their movie Car Stories and Love Crashes


Blah Blah Blah Frog testicles…about two guys who weren’t gay but supposing that they would meet each other and go out to dinner and such “are you gay?” “No…unless you are.”


Erica, Brian, Nick and Mark presented an scene that took place in the Watterson elevators where a guy thought the person who announced the floors sounded really hot and wanted to meet them only to find that the girl who announced the floors is none other than nick mikula!!! AHHHH!


Yale played Buck Eye Cherry’s Save Tonight as a sing along song…I know this song extremely well since I own Karaoke Revolution and I have already laid claim that that is “my song”. A fun time had by all.


Weedzilla was next with the first appearance of Ross as an actual participant at TED. It centered around Godzilla terrorizing the town and then the inhabitants toked zilla up, then zilla got the munchies…you know what happens next.


Mark and Dan were next with a song, where Mark went immediately into hey ya on his acoustic guitar playing a bit slower than the actual song and making up a few lyrics as well. This inspired Caitlin and Erica to jump up and join Dan making the hand gestures in behind mark. A fun and rockin’ piece that got the crowd going.


Pete w/ Not Drugs was next making a commentary on the Janet Jackson “costume malfunction” He did this by ripping off his pocket revealing the close up of the boob printed on photo paper and enlarged enough to be his own boob almost. Pete then gave Steve Nelson the picture to shut him up.


Breasts was next. Amanda Polley decided to talk about how this was breast cancer awareness week and that all girls should be checking at least every month for anything suspicious.


Tribute to Watch Stop was next with Joe and Josh again. This time the duo sang Tennacious D’s Tribute then went into Watch Stop (by someone I don’t know). Fun again.


Matt Sang a bit of a farewell song for the evening to the tune of Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood to say so’ long for now but I’ll be back.



Enthusiastic Applause



Performance Pieces:

Intro / The great debate…finished

Blog Inspired

Dueling Johnsons

A Tragic Lament

Shameless Plug

Tracy w/ a Poem

C.J. with some stand-up

The perfect epee battle

Sing Along of TED

Mayoral Campaign

Ryan and Zach w/ Beat Box Freestyle and Keyboard

Rico and Jared w/ an announcement

Blah, Blah, Blah Frog Testicles

Brian, Erica, Ross, Nick and Mark w/ True Love

Yale playin’ a sing along song


Mark w/ a song

Pete w/ Not Drugs


Tribute to watch stop




Performance Piece(s) of the week:


Blog Inspired

Mark and Dan and Erica and Caitlin w/ a song (Hey, Ya!)

Pirate / Ninja fight


Dare to Suck award:


Tribute to Watch Stop

A Tragic Lament




After Steve Nelsons night of YESSSes, C.J. in his stand up saying “If I ever get a girl into bed (knocks on wood) I want you on the sidelines WATCHING!”


Performer of the Week

Steve Nelson SAHHH! (had to bring this one back just for you buddy…)




Super Secret Hidden Theme of the WEEK:


Acoustic Guitar


Four, count ‘em four different acoustic guitar pieces.


*hidden themes are the unintentional repetition of something throughout the TED of that week.