Theatre of TED

February 8, 2003



List of performers


John Legat- Scott Rosen- Matt Russell- Matt Morales- Nick Izzo- Joel- RJ- Pete Guither- Denna- Andy Hamvak- Chris Weise- Nicki Manianis- Matt Drake- Tom Pleviak- Denis Grimes- Nick Lamb


*There are a couple of people's names I did not grab, I apologize


Italics denote new performer





Total Attendance


This week's attendance at Ted was over 50 people, YAY!



Personal Note


I need to first start with a thank you. I thank the Executive Board of Theatre of Ted for letting me host. It was a great event to add to my final semester here at ISU.


Now, I need to add an apology. I am sorry to everyone reading this and waiting for my host notes. I have always said that better living through technology is the way to go, but I might have been wrong. I wrote host notes late for the week I hosted and sent it to Pete. Later I find out that Pete never got it. So I go to resend it. It is not on my computer. Apparently I had some bug or something on my computer that was blocking e-mails from going out and was making files disappear. I have since dealt with it, but my original host notes are gone. I am going to do my best to recreate what happened for you all, but if things are missing or not accurate, please let me know and I will correct it. Also, If someone's name is miss-spelled, which I am sure is going to happen, let me know and I will correct it. I am very sorry and know that TED will understand. Thanks, Scott Rosen



Notes from TED


"Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause"


Ted started virtually on time with two Texans and a guy named frank testing chili. Frank was unable to handle the mild chilies due to being from the north. Hilarity ensued....


After Scott introduced the night, we were graced with an announcement about the Vagina Monologues and then were given a piece about the origin of CUNT. The piece was from Gloria Bertonis. We found out that the terms cunt came from cunta and stood for women. Prostetude also was the lawgiver in the temple back in the day, who would have known.



After that began one in a series of 4 pieces that all dealt with giving in to your darker impulses. The first evaluate dealt with taxes and not paying them, enjoy dealt with drinking and smoking, realize dealt with the existence of g-d and finally indulge discussed sexual affairs. There were signs that had key words on them that added to what was being said.


The next piece is one of my favorites of all time; Nick with his Woody Allen impersonation. If you have never seen it you need to. It is one of the best and funniest things. I am not a fan of Allen, but I love when Izzo does it.


Next we had a complaint from Joel. He went to a fancy dinner with a friend's roommate's friend at central station. He got a $20 plate of cold pasta, which he sat and ate. Someone said that they were going to pay for him, but then later retracted what they said and he had to pay 20 smackers. His night was ruined on the principal of the matter.


Skeltor, not to be confused with Skeletor, followed Joel. This was his girlfriend's first time at TED. This is a shout out to Jessica Mevel (apologize for spelling). He asked to be heckled and was.


During this piece Marcus Petrella, Dennis Grimes and Kyle Waits raided Nick Izzo. They attacked him and stole his shoes. It was strange and weird. Back to the piece we were at...


Some key moments from Skeltor's piece were him working out his mental issues, the clothing he bought at Hot Topic, Wife Beating and Tony the Tiger, Pointdexter and Mr. Redskin. I guess you had to be there. It eventually boiled down into a piece about The Whities Holiday, Thankless Keeping or Thanksgiving.


After Skeltor Denna graced us with three poems. Using great descriptive terms we were treated to some very powerful images. Thank you.


Following a great segue, John Legat told us the definition of droplight, but didn't want to wax poetics. He came with something he wanted to say. He talked about what it is like being a republican in the theatre department. It took a lot of balls for him to say what he needed to say, but he did a great job and made me rethink my views.


Andy sang Joanna from Sweeny Todd while Pete pushed the ivories. I was able to feel Joanna after the great singing.

Tom and Nicki recited a poem from the 2 Towers called Ent to Entwife. It a great piece and due to it we learned what a Garth is.


Only Nick Lamb can go from Elevators to Roses in one piece. Starting out with elevators housing idiots he ended up talking about how every day for him was like Valentine's Day, the day for assholes to redeem themselves.


I am sorry that I did not catch the next performer's name, but she talked about the reactions she got while selling condom roses and 4 flavors of chocolate vaginas. From this I learned that cops are cool and that teachers are uptight bitches.


Next we had Nicki relaying an event from her childhood that she was trying to work through. She claimed that here piece was not therapy of TED, but I say, if TED can help, let it help.


Next on the Docket is Pete with some more information about the USA and it's government. He claims that he is not a republican or a democrat, but he does get angry a lot. Pete informed us of some of the evils of the US. It was very informative.


Our next piece was a first timer, Matt Drake. He played the Piano beautifully. I heard the song before, but I could not figure out its name. I guess you all will have to ask him.


Next we had the most avante garde piece of the night, Dennis with his running stream of consciousness. He did not stop moving while he waxed poetics on topics ranging from glasses to colonialism, cunt, and quarter pounders with cheese. He took some layers off and put them back on, but did not stop moving, I got tired just watching him.


Tom came out again and this time sang us a song from Lord of the Rings. He has a great voice and used it very well.


I bombed next; I don't remember what I did though. Sorry


Almost done, we have Nicki and Denna talking about Cocaine Breast Implants. Great way to get past coast guards or new fashion accessory? You can decide.



Izzo again bringing something back from the archives: Early Sunday morning cheesy old black and whit movies. I will just say one thing about the piece: "In like Washington out like Lincoln."


"Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause"



***The running time for Theatre of Ted was just shy of three hours ***



List of Performance Pieces (in order of performance)


(There were a total of 23 performance pieces at Ted, holly shit!)


Inexperienced Chili Tester

An Announcement and the Origin of Cunt


The Return of the Allen Notebooks

Joel w/a complaint

Thanklessness Keeping by Skeltor


Pathetic Poetry

Acknowledging Intolerance

Andy Hamvack And Pete Guither with a Song

Tom and Nicki with a Poem


Nick Lamb

Matt with a Brief announcement

Quick Reactions

Pete Guither's Soap Box


Matt Drake with a 12-inch pianist

Running stream of consciousness

Tom with a song

Coke Boobs




And the ballots are in.......



Performance Piece(s) of the Week


Return of the Allen Notebooks

It is just so FUNNY!!!!


Performer(s) of the Week


John Legat for being true to himself and saying what he needed to say.



WoW MoM moment(s) of the week


Nick being attacked for his shoes!!




I don't want to Wax Poetics, but I'm just telling you something you already know.