Theatre of TED

November 9, 2002



List of performers


Matt Russell---Scott Rosen---Dan Huffines

Nikki Maniatis---Caitlin Barlow---Jeff Blum

Mike Schmeck---Jonathan Grabb---Andy Handback

Nick Izzo---Joel---Chris Weise

Jenni Stukin


(Italics denotes a new performer at TED)



Total Attendance


This week we had 35 in attendance at Ted



Personal Note

I learned a little bit this week at Ted. One thing I learned was that the fewer people you have, the longer Ted lasts. Maybe people are freer to get up and perform in front of small groups. Another thing I learned was that I really need practice on my improv skills. And I realize that Ted is not a forum where you are under evaluation or anything like that, but I personally like to receive criticism, but hey that's just me. So for those who offer it, and there are about 4 or 5 of you, I really appreciate it. Thanks.


Also, when it comes to recapping things that are extremely wordy pieces I tend to paraphrase a lot, in order to hopefully get the point of the piece across.



Notes from TED

“Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause”


Reverend Huffines made his return to Ted and for the first time I was able to get a good look at him and, ya know what I observed? I don't think he was really prepared. He didn't even know his lines!! I know, I'm not here to critique performers, and that's not what I do, but I think I'll take some sort of license here and say that it just broke down into more of a cartoon. Which went over better than most stuff the good reverend does. Kinda Ironic…Don't ya think?


But the Reverend gave us one issue to ponder. An issue that has sent vibes through our School of Theatre. Of course, he was talking about the Alleged Objectification of Puritans in The Crucible. What was the take on it? Well, let your mind go, and the thoughts will come people…


Scott Rosen read from a book entitled Freak(I Believe). In particular, he read a piece entitled The Kentucky Fried De-virginizing. It was about a man named Johnny and his experiences with a German girl named…OH, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HER NAME IS!!! (Credit: The Rock). Okay, back to Freak: It's not about censoring, it's all about not knowing enough of the moment by moment to this piece justice. Most things in this piece have to be taken in context. Well, for instance: Dumbo, and conversations between ones penis and ones self. The stuff of legend.


Jon Grabb gave us an installment of the Buffet Diaries, in which he portrayed a man who had gone to a $6.99, all you can eat buffet and was adamant about getting his $6.99 worth of food, no longer how long he had to wait. Diary entry, Day #1: After several plates of food, I still do not feel that I have gained the full value for my $, and have noticed that all day, no one has touched the mashed potatoes. Entry #4, October 4: DO NOT EAT THE OYSTERS. It caused an illness and I threw up 12 plates of "eatables" which caused a set back in achieving the goal of receiving the full value of my $6.99. Also, the mashed potatoes are still not touched. (It's also important to note that each entry was followed with the phrase: May my hunger be quenched). Finale Entry: It's now October 30th and the wait staff have stopped looking at me with an angry eye and have come to accept me. I have, so far, consumed over 1000 plates of food and am still far, far away from reaching my goal of getting full value of my $6.99. But it is time to move on. May my hunger be quenched.


So, I had a horn in my coat pocket tonight and to prove that some of the best things come from no where, I just set down my coat in the chair and the fact that it gave thud and I reacted got the coat/horn gag to go over well. Only one problem, I wish it hadn't fallen out at the end and left it as a bit of a mystery. Well, maybe it's better it did fall out, or I would have just drilled the joke into the ground.


And Now Jeff and Caitlin with the news: This week we start off with International News: A porn star coalition called Porn Stars for Being Fucked Harder, have started to demand more rights in how hard they get fucked. There were several quotes from those who make headway in the industry about what they would like more of. In other news, Sponge Bob's sexuality has been brought into question as parents are afraid that he is going to influence the young children into being gain. Parents feel that he is a gay role model, because he has a woman's voice, is very flamboyant, and his best friend is a little pink starfish. Another story was about a popular myth, which was disproven this past week. It was proved instead that NOT all children are special. *___(Insert Name Here) * was found this week to be not special in any way. In an effort to make her child special, his mother has started to hit her son in the head repeatedly to try and make him "special," the way that so many other children are thought of as special. In still yet, other news: John Birk is suing 1(900)BIG-TITS for sexual harassment. Mr. Birk feels that it is unfair that when men talk dirty to women it's called harassment, but when women do it to men, it's $2.99 per minute. The underlying theme between the 2 as they did the news was Caitlin had more seniority than Jeff and used that to, well, make her colleague her bitch. A clear abuse of power, leading to…well, to our theme this week: Objectification.


(Also, it's important to note that one of things that Caitlin made Jeff do was to "cook" for her and what he came up with was a bagel w/ cheese, ketchup and pretzels and some other crap I think, it was looking pretty gross)



It seems that Andy Handback is from North Dakota. Not since South Georgia have I heard of such a place. Okay all jokes aside, Andy had a story for us about Detainment. Being from ND (North Dakota, not Notre Dame), he of course has a ND I.D. He was sitting around one night, watching Comedy Central and noticed a commercial for the new Jack and Coke drinks and realized a couple of things. 1) He likes Jack and 2) he likes Coke. So he headed off to the BP (or was it freedom?), anyways, like I was saying, he headed off to the gas station and they wouldn't take his ID, because they had no way of checking it. They advised that he go to U-Liq. (Hey, enough of that people, it stands for University Liquors). After getting his stuff, he went to pay and they carded him, of course, and got out the book to compare his ID to that of the book. They called the police to come in and to run his ID and make sure he was legit. Andy was made to wait, detained if you will, for about 15-20 minutes while the cops ran his ID. After it was all over, he got his booze, was apologized to for the inconvenience and sent on his way.


I think it's fair to say that people from the great county, I mean state of North Dakota are being…well, Objectified.


Andy also had a monologue for us that I really don't have much info on. The part was Mozart and it was completely new to me. I had never heard it, or of it before. I think it fit Andy well.


Caitlin had a joke for the people, and although I didn't catch it, I guess it was pretty general and maybe that was the point, because in seeing her do that, it made me realize who she reminds me of, at least a little bit. She can at times have has a similar approach to jokes as Norm MacDonald. Meaning, that sometimes it's not the joke and it can be a bad joke, but the humor is in realizing when something's not flying and when the performer realizes that, then that's when it becomes funny. Does that make any sense? It's meant as a compliment, really it is!! Shit, I'm gonna get mail on this one…


Candle Light Surprise, was well, a surprise to me to, because it was all improved. I'm glad to publicly announce that we didn't put much pre-thought to it. The idea was decent, it just didn't find its pacing and in all fairness to Scott, I wasn't picking up on his cues at all. I think I said "Uh", more times in that skit, than I did in high school when my parents found a condom in my room right after my girlfriend left. (Not really, but I had to put it in perspective).


Minimalistic Improv w/Nick and Matt was piece where they would take 3 sets of suggestions and create scenes based on them.

#1) 2 gay firemen, eating a bagel (same bagel from The News)

#2) Bo Peep and one of her sheep, eating the bagel.

#3) Republican & the Devil, playing 4-square……eating the bagel.


Scott Rosen got up and talked about his interpreting of the letter that he had found a few weeks back. He had come across Nikki's notebook which he said to have found, and I have no idea what Nikki keeps in there, but she sure as hell didn't want it read…or interpreted. Scott, being an understanding guy offered her the chance to get her notebook back. On the condition (yeah there's always one) that she sing a song for everyone. Really tough to do, get up on the spot and perform and get into it and all, but Nikki ended up picking something from Little Shop, and I can honestly say, I had no idea that Nikki could sing. I had never heard her. She's really good IMODO.


Jon offered up a poem and really made the night stylistically almost complete. I mean, we've had monologues, improv scenes (uhhgg), scripted scenes, interpretive readings, singing, jokes, story telling, and yes objectification.


Johnny and Jenny D. went on their first date and we got a bit of a peak. What I liked was the way Johnny and Jenny kept stepping out in the middle of the scene to talk with the audience and give the "peer into the mind approach" to the scene. Johnny had a whole $7.50 burning a whole in his pocket and was able to take her to U-Liq, in order to buy her the finest bottle of champale that they had. After a trip to the video store to get the cult classic, FOX's: When Mosquito Bites Itch, they went back to Jenny's house so they could be alone. This was made possible because of Jenny's mom being out of town. Well, both had their first and where will it go from here? Is there more? We'll have to wait and see…


Matt Russell had a bit of punishment to give. It seems that in response to Joel's challenge last week about not drinking…anything. He was caught with water around day 6 I think…I dunno. But what it turned into was a bit of improv games where anyone who wanted to participate could. The audience would then have to shout out either and event or profession and see what the panel would come up with. The categories were as follows:

1)    World's worst actor

2)    A moon landing

3)    Worlds worst dentist


And mercifully it was over. There's something about looking to an audience for suggestion son a new topic and them looking back with a "please no more" look in their eyes. All in good fun people.


Culture came to Ted as Nick Izzo got up and performed his Shakes Fest audition piece, so he could take advantage of the chance to perform it in front of a group of people before the auditions next Saturday.

Scott Rosen was inspired by Andy's story earlier about the cops and the ID and told the story of being ticketed last fall for crossing the train tracks. The $$$ was sent in for the fine and he though everything was fine, until his roommate called him and told him that a detective had stopped by looking for him. The detective stopped by again later and talked with Scott and let him know that there was a warrant out for his arrest because it was shown that he had never paid the fine. Because the detective was understanding, he decided to take Scott to the station so that they could look it up on the circuit court computer and determine if he had paid or not. He ended up having to go before a judge early in the spring semester and had to officially answer the charges of "Trespassing on Federally owned lands." The judge told him that the maximum fine was 3 months in the county jail and a $3000 fine. And as Scott would say, "Because I crossed the train tracks?" Anyways, he was given a small fine, but he had to pay court costs as well.


Okay, before we get to the final piece, called Nikki w/ Redemption, I must apologize. I usually don't have to refer to my notebook or list when there's only 1 thing left, but maybe I was tired, because when I came up, I couldn't remember who was going or what it was called, AND I HAD JUST READ IT!!! Then I spotted Nikki and it was coming back to me slowly. So, if I announced Nikki w/a guessing tone, or a blank stare, that's why.


But Nikki wanted to redeem herself. She felt that she'd like to sing something that she felt a little more prepared for, than the number from Little Shop that she had done earlier. But to be honest, I don't think anyone felt that she had anything to redeem herself for, I think everyone enjoyed the first singing piece. But, this meant that we got another number as well. This one was written by Andrew Lloyd Weber and was from the sequel to Phantom of the Opera, which was never finished, I believe.



“Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause”


***The running time for Theatre of Ted was 2 days and 4hours***


I'm sorry, I mean,


***The running time for Theatre of Ted was 2 hours and 45 minutes***




List of Performance Pieces (in order of performance)


Issue w/ Rev. Huffines

Scott as a Freak

The Buffet Diaries

Caitlyn and Jeff w/ The News

Andy w/ 1)Detainment & 2) a Monologue

Caitlyn w/a Joke

An Advertisement

Candle Light Surprise

Minimalistic Improv

Scott w/ Nikki

Jon w/a Poem

Johnny & Jenny D. Go on a Date

Matt w/Punishment

Culture Comes to Ted

Scott Inspired by Andy

Nikki w/ Redemption



(There were a total of 16 performance pieces at Ted)



And the ballots are in…….


Performance Piece(s) of the Week


Johnny & Jenny D. Go On A Date


The Buffet Diaries



Performer(s) of the Week


Nikki Maniatis


Caitlin Barlow



WoW MoM moment of the week


There were many in the first hour or so, but for me at has to be that I've actually got these Notes done before Wednesday or Thursday. I got up this morning (Monday) at about 5:45 and really needed something to drinking. After getting a drink, I figured, hell, I'm up. Might as well, be productive.





There were quite a few of recurring themes this week, but I'd say the most prevalent would be OBJECTIFICATION.