Theatre of TED

November 2, 2002



List of performers


Dan Huffines---Matt Russell---Nikki Maniatis

Joel---Chris Weise---Santo

Samson Sando---Scott Rosen---Matt Morales

Leslie Shepard---Caitlyn Barlow---Jeff Blum

Kellie Powell---Ricky Rodriguez---Jared Winkler

The Phantom---Pat---Nick Lamb

Mike Schmeck---Darci Gruber---Kenny Metroff


(Italics denotes a new performer at TED)



Total Attendance


This week we had 54 in attendance at Ted



Personal Note

I really thought that this weeks Ted was going to be just okay at best. Not a lot of people at the get go and there were only a few people who were actually signed up to perform. Being in room 214 was a bit odd too, at first. But as more people showed up and a people stared signing up to do things it turned out to be a really good Ted and the first Ted that I've ever seen where 2 different pieces that received standing ovations. Overall, a great Ted!!



Notes from TED

“Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause”


Ted opened with an improv skit entitled "R & G Pre-show." Here Matt Russell and myself tried to explore what was going through the minds of the actors during the 15 minutes from the time that house opened until the time that the show started. Overall, kinda weak, but fun to do. It had its moments and I really loved Andy Handbacks reaction at the title of the piece. He said, and I quote: "You Bastards."


Before we get started with the rest of the show, Chris had a bit of an announcement to make. He set up some lights and had the atmosphere right for the Ted debut of possibly the greatest lucha libre ever: Santo!! Santo entered and showed that he has a common talent with Scott Rosen. I'm not sure exactly what they call the talent and for the life of me haven't been able to find out. When I see Scott Rosen, I'll describe what Santo did and then maybe I'll be able to describe to him what Santo did and see if he can enlighten me.


Nikki had received a letter that she needed to read to everyone at Ted. It was from Archie Nun. Archie wanted to say hi to all the people at Ted and also to extend an open challenge to one Sneaky Peterson. After his match with Hollywood Hogan a few weeks back, Archie has been in training and has been readying himself for a match sanctioned (or unsanctioned) by the TWF. If Peterson wishes to answer the challenge, the Archie would be willing to meet him in 2 weeks at Ted.


Jeff Blum came up to offer "A Different Perspective." He then read from the Vagina Monologues. The piece that he did was about hair and that in order to love vagina, one has to love hair as well. It's interesting to note that this is the second time this piece has been done at Ted. The first time being last spring with Matt Russell entitling it "A Dramatic Reading." Jeff did a great job with the piece and really got into it.


Matt Russell had to get up and make good on a bet that he had lost to Joel a couple of weeks back. He had bet on the Bears on the Monday Night game with Green Bay a couple of weeks ago. There was no $$$ at stake. Instead, he had said that if he lost he would shave his eyebrows. Well the Bears lost, and he had shaving cream and a razor to do the deed. So why does Matt still have eyebrows today? Well, he was just messing with us, there was no bet. And even if there were, it probably wouldn't fit his role in Crucible to shave his eyebrows off. I'm sure that would've gone over like a lead balloon. For the record though, I bought it up until about the final minute.


Joel came up to offer a challenge at Ted. Inspired, by the monstrosities of challenges that have been offered over the past few weeks, Joel talks about his problem with drinking…period. It started in his infancy, indulging on his mother. Then he moved to Juices, water, etc…Until he has now become addicted to Mt. Dew. So the look out was now to catch him w/a Mt. Dew…except for the one that he was drinking that night.


Samson Sandro made his Ted debut in a piece he called "Man #2." Samson talked about a girl he knew and what it's like to be seen as just a close friend and the unintentionally harsh things that some women say to their guy friends. One being: "I've never thought of you as a man before." And also: "I like you, but not in that way." Women take note, these are things that don't help the situation.


Jeff & Caitlyn brought us another installment of The News and hands down, was funny as hell. Yeah, I know the sexually overtone to the piece is great and should be appreciated, but don't loose sight of the actually news information which is very creative and funny in its own right. The news started out picking up where the last one left off, primarily the discussion about penis size in relation to shoe size. I guess the 2 were not related at all…who knew. *sigh* Some highlights from the news:


93% of Americans have lost sleep pondering the size of Yodas penis. The other 7% had never heard of Yoda.

Caitlyn told us about what "Penisologist" have determined to be a standard measurement system that we can all go by.


Other news included: Scissors beat Rock in a huge upset, and ended a long winning streak for the big guy.


The news pieces have been really so far, and I thing because they are funny are more than one level. One being the news information itself and the other being the sexually barbs exchanged between the two. This was the first piece of the night to get a standing ovation.


Kellie Powell made her Ted debut with a piece called The Hangover. This was great in that it drew the parallel between being addicted to alcohol and being addicted to a person. It stared with: "On Friday, I got drunk on Tequila and on Saturday, I got drunk on you. It ended on the note of "Love's like dry heaving, because it's pointless and it hurts like hell."


Ricky read America, by Allen Ginsberg. If you haven't ever heard the piece, I'd suggest checking it out because it makes you think about things that are often times taken for granite.


We then had the return of the Phantom, with A Good Old Fashioned Ass-Kicking. It's always nice to see a good fight at Ted. Gets the adrenaline pumping. Seeing these kind of pieces makes me look forward to learning about stage combat.


Jared Winkler performed a monologue that he's been working on in his Acting I class. It was the part of Phil, from Boys Life. If anyone has anything that they are doing in classes and wants to do them to get feedback from others, then this is a great place to do it. And if anyone is working on monologues for continuation auditions and would like feedback then I encourage you to take advantage of this forum.


Kenny Metroff and Darci Gruber did a two-scene play entitled Enticing Perplexity. This was an original play be Kenny. For anyone who saw Again (by Tim Murphy), then you may have recognized that Kenny was writing a play, within a play. What we got at Ted was a presentation of the text that Kenny was working on during the show. The 2 scenes were almost the same:

2 characters:                                    April and Jonathan

Location:        Bench in the back of a Sunday School

(second scene was in the back of a different Sunday School)


The text was so random and had some really funny moments, just because of the obscurity of the lines. For an example, see Moment of the week at the bottom.


Pete Guither presented a commercial using 6 actors who represented a chain of how one mans $$$ at the gas pump can be traced back to terrorists. The piece was in response to what the federal governments' anti-terrorism commercials have said about certain people (drug users) being responsible for supporting terrorists.


The great video game debate took place between Matt Morales, Chris Weise, Matt Russell and Scott Rosen. Scott let the others talk about what their favorite video games are and promised that he had a game in mind that was greater than all of their games put together. Matt Morales's favorite game was No Mercy for N64. Chris went with the new Grand Theft Auto game and Russell had 2, Mario Party 4 (to play with friends) and Kronotrigger (to play by himself). Scott's game to beat all games was a game that involved a man who was always had and always smiling. He was always hungry and ate everything in sight. The game promoted good health, because he was always eating fruit and unsalted pretzels. He battled apparitions, and lived in world that was closed off from everyone else. Of course, he was talking about Pac-Man!!!!


Waves of the Ocean was an improved scene between myself and Matt Russell. It involved a young man named Jeremy (or Dan, depends on what point we were in the scene), and his friend who was trying to talk him out of suicide. It went on for a while and ended with a game of chance (the flipping of a coin) to determine Jeremy/Dan's fate. Heads he lives, tails he dies. In the spirit of R & G, it was…..HEADS.


Lelsie Shepard did a piece titled Do the White Thang. If I'm not mistaken, she had done this piece for a high school state speech competition and received 2nd place. I heard that information, like 4th hand so I hope it's correct. It was about being a black student in a predominant white, suburban high school, and then being questioned about not being what other people think you should be. It's all about being who you are and being comfortable about yourself.


Some of the highlights included meeting with her guidance counselor, Mr. Ethan Nicity, and his attempts to send her to the Academy for the Uncultured minority. Some of the classes taken at the Academy were Black English and music. This piece received the second standing of the night and much well deserved. Creative, real and brought to life.


Nick Lamb returned with Slam Poetry. He did two pieces this week and again took topics from the audience. The first being "tapestry" which he was able to incorporate very well, and draw parallels between tapestry and the canvas of life.



“Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause”


***The running time for Theatre of Ted was 2 hours***




List of Performance Pieces (in order of performance)


R & G Pre-show

Chris w/an announcement

A Letter from an old friend

Jeff w/a different perspective

Children, Never Gamble

Joel w/a challenge

Man #2

Jeff & Caitlyn w/the News

The Hangover

America: by Allen Ginsberg

A Good Old Fashioned Ass-Kicking w/ the Return of the Phantom

Jared w/a monologue

Enticing Perplexity

Pete w/a Commercial

Video Game Debate

Waves of the Ocean

Do the White Thang

Slam Poetry


(There were a total of 18 performance pieces at Ted)



And the ballots are in…….


Performance Piece(s) of the Week


Do the White Thang


Jeff & Caitlyn w/the News



Performer of the Week


Jeff Blum


WoW MoM moment of the week


Kenny Metroff with the well written, well placed line of literary genius: "I'm angry, and there's conflict!"