Theatre of TED

September 28, 2002



List of performers


Dan Huffines----Jon Legat----Scott Rosen

Chris Weise----Nikki Maniatis----Matt Russell

Rico Natale----Jared Winkler----Brian Clouthier

Ricky Rodriguez----Jeff Fisher----Leslie Shepard

Mike Schmueck----Caitlin Barlow----Carolyn

Jared Beckley----Tom Pleviak----Mike Morales


The following is a list of all the First names that I have for those who were part of "The Tagged Clan"….and they are: Jared, Jeff, Scott, Erin, Arron, Brian & Pat. There were more, and I apologize that I don't have your full names, but hey, hopefully you'll be performing again in the near future and I'll have the chance to get to know your full names.


(Italics denotes a new performer at TED)


24 (plus) performers at this weeks of Ted


Total Attendance


78 was the magic number this week at Ted!!



Personal Note


Hot Damn!! We had a number of first time Ted people this week. A lot of new performers too, most of them as a part of the "Tagged Clan." I had been told for about 2 days straight that Ted was going to be really short because there weren't many people that were going to be there. Shows, weddings etc…..Well, I guess it turned it to be half-right. It WAS a short Ted, but a lot of people turned out for it.



Notes from TED

“Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause”


Ted started off with a fly-on-the-wall look at a support group meeting for Vagina-holics Anonymous! "Hi, my names Bob"---(All) "HI BOB!!…You get the idea. This piece was written by yours truly, what's new though. I write everything I do 99% of the time. The moment of the scene (for me) was hearing Jon Legat correct "Bob," and letting him know that the group did not use the term "Vagina." Instead they refer to it as "The GASH." I'll never look at it the same way again. The script was written to use double entandre and draw parallels to describe vagina as a drug….a very addictive drug.


The Plague Set to Destroy the University Parts (1 & 2), presented by Scott Rosen was a humorous look at the effects of budget cutbacks felt by Illinois State, particularly the School of theatre. Part 1 looked at Stage Combat class…Scott had felt the cutbacks by only being given an 8 inch stick of wood for fighting…not a problem, right? Well, it wouldn't be but it was a class for fighting with (for lack of a better term), staffs, kindo sticks, etc.


Part 2, presented later in the evening, was a look at film classes and how the cutbacks that have caused them to be less….hmmm, real? Like in any film class, the lights were turned out for the beginning of the film for that days class. Only there was no video...(because of budget cutbacks)..Scott opened a script and started to read the screenplay for Magnolia…Classic stuff, great idea, and so true….


Famous last words made there debut at Ted…Mat & Dan presented the assumed last words of Helen Keller, Sonny Bono, and of course, Matthew Shepard.


Immediately after the Matthew Shepard one, about 20 people got up and left….Hot Damn!! We managed to offend about 30% of the crowd. YES!! No, wait a minute, they were just getting prepped, because they were all part of the next piece:


The Tagged Clan!!! They were made up entirely of first year students. As most are aware of, it's been a running joke this semester about not seeing freshman around. I'm not so sure that it would be so funny, if it hadn't been for last years freshman class. They had more personality than most and is almost the exception to the rule. But it was great seeing this years first year students getting together and presenting a light hearted F*** YOU in response to not being seen, because they were seen on Saturday. They all came in as members of a team and Leslie Sheppard led the "Huddle" chant…"We are the 1st years…The Might Mighty 1st years!!" You get the idea. I loved it, and hopefully this was the first of many Ted performances for many of these individuals.


Jeff Fisher performed a monologue from a David Mammit play that he is currently working on in Realism class. He talked to the younger crowd that was at Ted and told them about what to expect in upper level acting classes and the work that it takes at that point. He then gave an example of what types of things that will be looked for by professors once you get into those classes.


The Complete History of America……Abridged. Great piece done by Mike Morales, Tom Pleviak & Jared Beckley. It opened with the singing of "The Star Spangled Banner." They talked about all of the "ism's" that are felt in America today. Jared Beckley was hilarious on the things that he said during the piece, but was even funnier in what he didn't say. His comic timing makes me envious. The piece ended with the trio presenting words that are associated with America (George Washington, America, & Spiro Agnew), only they showed how each can be rearranged to spell out something a little different.

Examples: ---America = I Can Ream--- or ---Spiro Agnew = Grow A Penis---

Funny stuff all around and again, nice to see new faces performing at Ted

(I'm like a broken record)

Hopefully we get to see more installments of this piece.


Johnny Douglas came to Ted to address the ladies. Johnny talked to the crowd and told a bit about his life. How he worked at Sears. In fact he was the head of tire rotation. He is 28, has his own band, plays the guitar, has lived at home with his mother until just recently and has finally given up breast-feeding. He opened the floor up to any ladies who wanted their shot at Johnny D. Coming straight out of his relationship with his mother, he was back on the market.


The Bastard Mime returned to Ted, pulling Caitlyn out of the audience to try and make a shirt with her likeness on it. After several attempts and angles, the TBM pulled out a Polaroid camera and took a shot of her and then taped it onto the shirt. Their was also a picture of TBM, and it was classic. I'm really digging the whole Bastard Mime concept and the reliance on t-shirts.


Matt Russell then performed in Never Took A Lesson. I guess it wasn't really "performed in," in fact he just performed…Harmonica, in fact. First use of Harmonica that I ever remember at Ted, and impressive since he never really did take any lessons.


Starlight Kinder featured The Lake Park Boys (Rico, Ricky, Mike, Brian & Jared), playing an improv game that had each of them come up with a monologue based on a theme from the crowd. Once each of them had done their monologue on the given theme (Tonight's crowd choice: "Gypsy's mating with Republicans in the town of Crankshaft, New Georgia.), they then had to go through the process again, incorporating what the others had presented. I'm always a fan of improv and I think I may steal this game at some point in time…


Mike revisited his challenge and talked about some of the new people seen at this Ted and encouraging even more people to come and perform.


There were only a dozen pieces listed at the beginning of Ted, but a rebuttal piece was put together by Caitlin Barlow, as a reply to Mikes Johnny D. piece. She did a hilarious parody of Johnny D., changing some things around of course. For instance: "I work at Sears, I sort socks…" The whole piece was done from a more desperate point of view, but it was funny. And I really like the fact that FINALLY, I have seen a female get up at Ted and put something together on the spot, and make it edgy. Men tend to feel more comfortable than women at that, and I don't know why. I wish I did, and all of my masturbation theories aside, I'm still at a loss….


Thanks for coming out tonight, drive safely to Adams to drink with him on his birthday…


“Theatre of Ted, Enthusiastic Applause”




***The running time for Theatre of Ted was 1 hour and 15 minutes***




List of Performance Pieces (in order of performance)


Vagina-holics Anonymous

The Plague Set to Destroy the University, Part 1

Famous Last Words

The Tagged Clan

Jeff Fisher w/a monologue

The Complete History of America……Abridged

Johnny Douglas Needs to Address the Women

The Bastard Mime

Never Took A Lesson

Starlight Kinder

Mikes Challenge…Revisited

The Plague Set to Destroy the University, Part 2

In Search of Johnny D.


(There were a total of 13 performance pieces at Ted)



And the ballots are in…….


Performance Piece(s) of the Week


The Complete History of America……Abridged



Performer of the Week


Mike Schmueck…I mean, he was all over the place, Johnny D., Starlight Kinder, Challenge Revisited…It was a Mike night. And also, let us not forget his comment right before The Bastard Mime, where Mike said "He's built like a brick shit-house." He'll be gone this coming weekend, so it's good that we got enough at this Ted.



WoW MoM moment of the week


"The Tagged Clan" appears at Ted and proves that there are freshman (sorry, I mean 1st years)…YES!!--They DO exist! Funny Stuff.